On Enabling: can we love them to death?

The word "enabling" came into general usage about what? l0, l5 years ago,
I guess. Rather than "came into," it "seeped into" American via the psychobabble community. Of course it does have validity. Question: If my kid has a drug problem and I bail him out of jail twice, am I helping him or
hurting him? Answer: You decide. Some people can't bear to see their offspring suffer, even when they're suffering. It makes them feel better to speed to the jail in the middle of the night to meet the bail bondsman (trust me, I know). And it gets the kid out of jail. Question: So what does the errant child learn from this experience? Answer: a) The parents love him too much to let him spend the night next to a drunken guy who's pissed all over himself. Or b) The parents don't love him enough to let him spend the night next to a...You get the picture.